I don’t wear matching socks anymore – Free Of Reality


I woke up one humid British December day and asked myself, “Why do we wear matching socks? No, really, what’s the point?” I thought about it for a while and eventually decided there is no actual benefit in spending 10 freaking minutes looking for the other sock every morning. Here’s why:

  1. Wearing matching socks does not improve my quality of life (given that they’re made of the same material and are equally comfortable).
  2. It won’t improve my chances of finding a mate with evolutionary beneficial traits and successfully reproduce. I mean … We all have our fetishes, but c’mon.
  3. It doesn’t make my life easier. As I’ve said, I spend forever looking for the significant other of my striped black-and-white sock in a drawer full of many just as qualified potential candidates. Then I get OCD anxiety when I can’t find it because it means I have to look for another pair. But what if I’ve lost the other one and now I’ll have to get rid of the first one too? What if I get rid of the first one and then find the other one? … This leads me to my next point.
  4. Think of how much money and time shopping I could save if I could just throw that holey single sock out and carry on with the ones I have left.
  5. And think about how much less waste we would produce collectively as human beings, if we all wore odd socks.
  6. And to finally point out the obvious, it’s so much more fun to play with color and pattern combinations than to search brainlessly for the ‘only’ match.

All of these things flashed in my mind on that December day, and you know what? I haven’t worn matching socks for almost 10 proud months.

P.S. the same goes for odd mittens…

2 Comments Add yours

  1. stolzyblog says:

    my 5 year old son has the same epiphany… I even think he deems it a natural selection advantage in his convoluted highly intuitive toddler sort of way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha that’s adorable! I have a 10 year old cousin and I think he was smarter at 5 than I am at 21

      Liked by 1 person

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